How YOU can make a difference for marriage!

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Truth Bites…A little insight, a new perspective and some clarity on many of the issues women face.


This week’s Truth Bite is this:

“If you want to make your marriage better, it takes ONE spouse to commit to making things better. And it can start with you…today.”

I really enjoy talking to other women. I love hearing about her life, joys, successes, and what she struggles with. Inevitably, if she is married, we end up talking about her marriage. For the most part, many women are happy in their marriages—they are busy, but devoted to their husbands and family. They work hard to maintain the balance between work, family, and self, but all-in-all they are committed to making their marriage work. Others, though, really struggle. They aren’t enjoying their marriages at all! It’s not that they don’t want to continue being married, they love their husbands! But they are floundering in the way they relate with one another. Things are not ideal at home, and they are not sure how to fix it.

Unfortunately, many marriages today are ending in divorce. It’s become a “go-to” solution that didn’t use to be popular, but now somehow is. The struggle to stay together and work things out has become harder than dealing with the repercussions and destruction left behind. Personally, it seems like I hear about  another couple divorcing every other day. Of the divorced people I know, I often find myself wondering, “What on earth happened?” “How could it have gotten so bad that they’d put themselves and others through this trauma?” I’m sure it’s not any one thing that led to the marriage’s demise, but probably a string of hurts over time—a growing apart, neglect of the relationship, taking each other for granted, disinterest by one of the partners, unfaithfulness, abuse, even a change of heart. Whatever happened, someone gave up the fight.

I guess it wouldn’t be such a big deal, except for the damage that even one divorce causes to other people caught in the wake; that, and the fact that the couple made a vow before God and each other. The Bible tells us that God takes vows very seriously. Matthew 19:6 says, “So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” Yet, our culture accepts it, even expects it to some degree. I do realize that there ARE some legitimate reasons for divorce; Matthew 10:3-9 gives two examples—immorality and hardness of heart. But for the most part, a marriage doesn’t have to end that way. Does it?

My hope is that a breach in the marriage relationship can be averted if husbands and wives mutually try to understand and meet the needs of the other one a little bit better. Since I can only speak from my own perspective as a wife, I chose to dedicate some time and energy into figuring out what a “wife” really is and teach other wives what she can do to make her marriage as successful as possible. For example, what would happen if she could learn to put her husband first ahead of her own wants and desires? What if she began to see him as a teammate, rather than an opponent? Can she choose to resist being easily offended if he  says something stupid and hurtful, or forget her birthday? Can a wife learn to demonstrate respect to her husband even if she doesn’t feel respect toward him? I think so. It’s not easy sometimes, but she can.

About ten years ago, I made a decision to consciously protect and fight for my marriage. Even though I felt secure in the relationship, I realized that nothing is for sure when it comes to marriage. I chose to not take mine for granted any longer and began working hard at being the kind of wife Mike would never want to leave. Interestingly, I’ve found that what works is actually counter-cultural…maybe even “radical” for the prevailing attitude and thinking of today. So I’m labeling myself a “radical wife,” mainly because that’s what I am if you look at the definition of “radical” below. I want to make a difference to people by reversing the trend toward divorce, and I want to educate and help others like you to be a difference maker, too.

Radical (răd′ĭ-kəl): “One who advocates fundamental or revolutionary changes in current practices, conditions, or institutions.” 

While it does take two people to make a marriage work, sometimes it only takes ONE spouse to commit to making it better. Romans 12:18 says, “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.”

So why not let it start with you?

You’re not responsible for the outcome, only the effort you put into it. God is in control, not us. But he doesn’t want us to just sit there and let our relationships fall apart. He expects us to fight for the ones that matter most, and that is especially true for marriage. Valuable things are worth fighting for, and there is nothing more valuable than your marriage and family.

If you are a wife who wants to fight for her marriage and help others to do so, then you are a radical wife, too. Please don’t worry if you have been divorced—the past is in the past and God has a great future planned for you. You can commit to making THIS marriage or a future new relationship radical.

Are you ready to make your marriage more peaceful, happy, and enjoyable? Do you want to reignite the love you felt for your spouse when you married him? Do you want to know in your heart that you are doing everything you can to make the marriage succeed? Do you value your husband, kids, family and friends enough to give it your best? Then join me today on this Radical Wife journey.

Before you begin, present your intentions to God. I always give the women I teach this verse from Proverbs:

Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and he will establish your plans.” Prov. 16:3

You can also subscribe to my e-newsletter The Radical Wife, where I share from my own experiences and from the principles taught in the books, God’s Radical Plan for Wives and the companion Bible study. Believe me, these timeless principles really work. They work in my own life and in the lives of the women I’ve taught. Marriages are being saved through them; they are worth checking out at, or